I have met J. Edgar, I wish the meeting would have went better.

The problem with this movie is simple, it does not need debate or examination. The problem is Clint Eastwood is an old scared man, he fears gay men, gay sex and men who like to gossip. Put simply he is afraid, he had no business directing this film. He is either unable to grasp the mind of a homosexual or fears his fan base will hate him if he does.

The movie on paper has it all, a power hungry political figure with just as many deep dark secrets about his own self as he has on everyone else in Washington DC, a hidden homosexual love affair, a passion for wearing women’s clothing and a great actor to play the role. But instead of getting a great or even good film that examines a sad man’s amazing life we get nearly 3 hours of horseshit. The movie does not dig into anything at all, nothing. It tells a few stories but it never follows any of them through. And at the end of the film we discover it was all fabrications on J. Edgar’s part. That’s right the whole movie is from J. Edgar’s imagination. I also want to say, I find it appalling that in Clint Eastwood’s mind the only way two men could ever even kiss is after beating the shit out of one another.

This movie is sad, long and boring; I walked in knowing very little about J. Edgar Hoover, I walked out knowing and caring less. The movie plays like a sick comedy, many scenes feel like their lifted from an SNL dress rehearsal. I honestly can’t imagine what made Clint Eastwood think he could make this film without trying to tell any kind of story. I mean it there is no story here at all. All the things that would be great are not there, we hear over and over again how J. Edgar has dirt on everyone yet we never see any of it. We are told how president after president wants to fire J. Edgar yet we never get to see it. At one point Edgar wants to black mail MLK into not accepting his Nobel Peace Prize, what does he black mail him with? An audio tape of someone having sex, who? I don’t know. The movie never said. Sure I could speculate, but why? I don’t go to the movies and spend hard earned money so I can speculate about what Clint Eastwood thinks. I should think during his poorly directed shit fest of a movie

In closing avoid this movie like the plague; it is long, boring, uninformative, sexist and homophobic. Clint Eastwood needs to get back on track and stick to what he knows about, tough old bastards without friends.